Firsts.

Today was Reilly's first day of pre school.  We have all been preparing and excited for weeks.  Yesterday, Reilly woke up jumping up and down saying "TOMORROW I GET TO GO TO PRE SCHOOL!!".  This morning, she woke up teary and tired and said, "I don't want to go to school, I will miss you so much Mommy."  This is exactly how I've been feeling for weeks.

So excited for her to make new friends, socialize in a brand new setting, learn things she has never learned, see things she has never seen, be challenged, have fun, problem-solve on her own.  But so nervous for her to be on her "own", without me there.  I've been there every minute, every day.  She has hardly ever been apart from me.  But we knew she was ready.  And she is such an amazing little soul - I felt in my heart that this was the time for her to start shining her little light in the world.  Time for her to glow, and grow.

Some days you pray, and you know what the answer is.  Sometimes you wonder when the answer will come.  Some days you are confused about what God is saying to you.  And then, there are days like today.  Days when God is showing you the answer around every corner, covering you in the clarity of His presence.  It was like every worry I had in my heart (as I cried last night, packing her snack and backpack, labeling her water bottle...), was completely erased today.  Each silent prayer that I prayed, was answered not only once, but over and over again.

The day started out on a bad note, besides the few tears, Mama's phone wouldn't turn on.  Just great.  It had been sitting in water last night on the counter (I hadn't noticed until late, and put it in rice right away), and still wasn't dry this morning.  That meant that I had to send her school, without any phone.  There went my comfort of "if there is a problem, they will just call me, I'll come a second...".  Just unneeded stress.

But we got over it and by the time we left, everyone was smiling and excited.  We filled Reilly's room with balloons, and Daddy's car as well.  Balloons just make this girl so excited!  (This morning, she briefly thought the balloons meant it was her birthday, and asked, "Am I four, Mama?") She knew it was a day to celebrate with all the balloons everywhere. :)  The few hours passed quickly as I ran to the food store with my littlest sunshine, and ran home to make everyone lunch.  Hubby called me and we had a little pep talk together.  Many friends and family texted to encourage us (mainly Reilly and me, ha), which meant so much.  We were surrounded by so much love on this exciting day.

I was positively giddy on the way to pick her up.  I knew Reagan missed her, I could tell how to ran around the house, seemingly looking for someone to chase. :)  I practically ran to the door.  When her teacher saw me and called for Reilly's dismissal, she said, "I just have to tell you, Reilly does not want to come home!  We had a really hard time getting her to come to closing circle!"  That made me happier than you can imagine.  She loved it.  She adjusted.  She had so much fun. She thrived.

When she saw me, she ran as fast as she could and Reagan screamed with excitement.  She started talking a mile a minute about everything she did and the new friends she made.  She could barely take a breath.  "I had so much fun!  I met Jenna!  Look, that's Jenna!  She's four. We did arts and crafts, and play doh, and read books!  I went on the potty.  I missed you a little, but I wasn't sad Mommy!  Can I have some more of my apples?  I didn't finish them because I was full. Some other kids had yummy snacks!  Can I have cheese and pretzels one day?  I think someone had an ice pop! Oh MAN!  I forgot to play hide and seek!"

As I was getting her in the car (yes, that was on the walk to the car), as I was silently thanking God over and over, I told her I was SO happy.  To which she said, "Are you so blessed, Mama?"

Yes, Reilly.  I am so blessed.  Hi, God. Thank you for listening.  I know You heard me.  I hear You, too.

I took the girls to a little surprise, and we went to the coffee shop for a treat and to have lunch.  I got a latte (I felt like a deserved a treat as well), and Reilly got a piece of crumb cake and a hot chocolate.  She about died when she heard me order the hot chocolate.  She saw the man making it and said, "Is that cream for ME?!  THANK YOU SO MUCH!" She got it in a to-go cup, and said, "This is like coffee!!" as she held it with both hands.  She chose the couches to sit on and picked out books she wanted me to read them.  She jumped up half way through and spun around, and said, "I had the BEST day at school!"  We sat down and said prayers, thanking God for her wonderful first day.

As we were leaving, two ladies stopped me who looked to be in their forties.  One said, "Hi, I just have to tell you, your girls are adorable."  I thanked her, and she went on to ask me if I was expecting another.  Her friend teased her and said, "Of COURSE she is!  What was your plan if she said no?!"   Then she said that it may be crazy, but it is the most fun ever having them so close.  She said she had 4 under the age of 7, and when she found out she was pregnant with her fourth, her third was only 3 months old.  She said no matter how crazy it feels at times, it's worth it when they are older and it's amazing.  I couldn't help but smile, as God send another messenger of positivity my way on this day.  I told them how it was Reilly's first day of pre school and they gushed over her and made her feel so special.

After we got home, there was an email from Hubby saying that he and Reilly prayed on the car ride to school, and that all of their prayers were answered today.

Today was a big first for our family. But I am walking away from today with a better outlook.  I will not worry on our next "first", or at least I'll try not to.  :)  I will remember the message I heard today over and over:  Do not worry.  I am with her.  Just relax and be thankful.  You are blessed, you are blessed, you are blessed.