I have not written much about my little growing fetus up until this point, and for good reason. Not because little angel is not in my thoughts, because he has been on our thoughts/minds/lips/brains every single day. Mainly, because up until now (crossed fingers) I have been experiencing little else to report besides sickness. Most of the time, I was sick or barely able to eat - and when I was feeling okay, I didn't want to talk about it too much for fear of jinxing it. I know, it sounds silly when I say it out loud. But pregnant mama's would know how I feel. And when you are nauseous, the absolute last thing you want to do is talk about it or reflect on it. But now, since it seems to be behind me (prayers please) I'm ready to talk about what's been happening!
First, I'm slowly but steadily gaining! I have a noticeable belly, which came super quick since there isn't really anywhere for baby to hide. I'm already into maternity pants, which I love and want to marry and live in for the rest of life. Glorious, maternity pants are.
Also, the sailing has not been smooth thus far, besides the sickness. But I don't like complaining because I am a firm believer that someone always has it worse. Yes, I have been nauseous, and at the time it feels like the worst thing ever, but is it really? No. It's much easier to say this in hindsight. But even in the throws of pregnancy problems, and I remember feeling this way when pregnant with Reilly too, I know the real problems that people could and do face during pregnancy (mainly due to the fact that my mama is an obstetric nurse). Things that threaten the lives of baby or mama or both - and nothing I have faced has been that bad, thank God. So I just count my blessings and try to roll as best I could with the infections, and disease scares that I've had thus far. And complain little, except to those in my house who witness it, because in the end, a miracle happens. That's the prize my eye stays on.
So I am starting to feel myself again - starting to cook, starting to feel useful. I always use that word - useless - when I refer to how I feel in the first trimester (and second with Reilly). It sounds harsh, but it's how I feel - useless to those around me, and myself. I can't accomplish things I want to, things I know I need to, things I wish I could - even little things. I need to be waited on even when I don't want to be, even when nobody else has time to either. It's very frustrating, and when that feeling it lifted, it's amazing.
I'll leave your with a first bump pic! This is me at around 12.5 weeks.
And this is me at 12 weeks pregnant with Reilly!
So funny, such a belly difference! I was carrying so differently with Reilly - I gained so much right away, and had weight all in my back and hips and and face. Now, every ounce that is in my uterus! Maybe boy? Who knows! We'll find out in March! :)