Monday, May 9, 2011
For the week of Reilly's first ever birthday on God's beautiful Earth, I will be reflecting. Lot's of reflecting. Therefore, lot's of crying on my part. Having a baby makes you cry at the drop of a hat, did you know that? Please join me this week as I recount this year.
Some people measure time by the new year.
Wow, it's New Year's Eve already. I can't believe another year has passed. What should I accomplish this next year? Let's make a resolution. I can't believe the turns my life took this year.
Some measure time by their birthdays.
I am already one year older?! I can't believe it's my birthday again. [Insert Age Here] doesn't feel that much older. I still remember turning 17. I still feel like I am 17. This was a good year.
Some, by the school year.
I can't believe it's finals weeks again. Summer is coming, WOO HOO! It seems to go faster every year. I feel like it was just the first day of school. Am I smarter now than I was then? In September, the school year seems daunting, but that wasn't so bad. I hope summer goes slowly.
I've measured time in all of these ways at some point in my life. But not now. Not anymore.
Now time is measured by the age of my child. The ages of my future children. Every birthday will be another time of reflection on the year that has passed. All the time hoping and praying for them. All the time preparing and waiting for them. All the time raising and playing with them. It seemed slow. Where did it go, that time?
But really, I know where it went. I see it in her eyes and her smile. In her giggle. When I fake sneeze, and she cracks up. Or when I say, "No, Reilly, HOT." when she comes to the oven, and she says, "HOT." Or when Daddy comes home and she immediately started bouncing and hysterical laughing. The time is in everything she knows, everything she is, every memory we've made. And I can't be sad about that, now, can I? Because this year, this time, those memories, and our girl...have been nothing short of amazing.
When I first had babygirl, my Mama said to me, "The days drag, and the years will fly."
Was she ever right. I knew at the time that she was. It's what I heard most when I was pregnant: Cherish it. It goes to fast.
So I did. I vowed I would, and I still am. I cherish. I savor. I give up chores so that I can play with my girl. I forgo what "has" to get done, and instead do what I will not get a chance to do again. I thank God that I have this chance to teach her and watch her grow, day in and day out. I thank God that he gave me Hubby, who works so hard for us every day and plays with us all afternoon. I thank God that he gave us our girl. I thank God that he gave us this time on Earth to meet her and enjoy her and watch her grow. I can't wait to see what else he has in store for us. I promise I will cherish it.
Motherhood. It's the most profound gift I have ever received. It made me realize what it was like for God to give up His Son. It made me know what it's like to be in LOVE with your job. It's made me feel more blessed than ever that I get to call being a mama, my favorite title in the world, my job as well. It's made me feel what it's like to have a piece of me - something I love and care for more than I even love myself - walk (crawl) around independently from me.
It's more responsibility and work on a day to day basis than I ever thought possible.
It's more love and fun on a day to day basis than I ever thought possible.
Time. However you measure it. Thank God for any of it that you have. He gave it to you for a reason. Cherish it. Don't take it for granted. It goes fast.